Comfort Food
by Merry Masquerade
Summary: Inuyasha's and Kagome's thoughts on food and what it represents. Slightly angsty, slightly fluffy oneshot.
1. Hunger

Disclaimer: If you're really that interested, take the time to go read my bio and stop making me waste other peoples' time by putting it here...

A.N.: No, I'm not dead. No, my muse isn't either- just very, very lazy.

Here is a random tidbit that popped into my head while observing communal eating habits at a family reunion, though it really has nothing to do with that. Yes, I know my muse is very random and has a strange sense of humor.

Okay, this is Inuyasha's thought on... well... lots of things. Mostly food. A little (okay, maybe not so little...) coarse language, 'cause it _is_ his P.O.V., on the angsty side of sunshine as well, and a tiny bit of fluff at the end.

Enjoy!

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**Comfort Food:**

**Hunger**

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I've always been hungry.

There are lots of different kinds: the hunger for knowledge, the hunger for power, for acceptance, for friendship... for love. I know because I've felt them all. The specifics- like number of decades- are a little blurred together, but one thing I've always remembered is this: the feeling of an empty stomach and an empty heart.

Yeah, surprising that the two could be related like that. But I'm not into that touchy-feely girly crap. So through the years I focused on the one thing (well... one of the things) that all guys focus on- my stomach.

When I was a pup, my mother would feed me- like all mothers are supposed to do. Or, at least, she tried her best. See, my old man croaked the day I was born, leaving my mother high and dry; no place to go, nothing of value to her name, and with a brand new half-breed mouth to feed, no less.

Well, she was eventually chased out of every village she begged in- 'cause of me. What people say is true. She woulda been better off drowning me the minute I was whelped.

Anyway, we moved around a lot- and she begged for food everywhere we went. Sometimes we got lucky, and people would pity her, giving her scraps and letting her stay in the village for a little while. Until they got sick of feeding her for free, or found out about me, that is.

Whatever she did manage to get, whenever she managed to get it, she gave more than half to me. Stupid. I ruined her life, and she still tried to take care of me. Growing or not, I was still a half-breed; I could go way longer on far less food than she could.

Eventually, we finally settled down on the outskirts of a generous little village. It was a welcome change. There was a little koi pond my mother loved to sit by, and I even got to play ball in the streets sometimes. We kept to ourselves, they ignored us. It was kinda nice, actually. Especially since there was always at least a little bit of food on the table. I didn't ask how she paid for it, but I had a sneaking suspicion it had a lot to do with the men she brought home almost every night- she would always smell strongly of them in the morning when she came out of her room to add a few more coins to our stash. They stank- and on top of _that_, they almost always carried stench of liquor.

I learned most of my 'language' from them. The men weren't very nice. Sometimes they beat me if I got in their way. They beat her too if she tried to stop them. They thought it was fun. They were sick. I asked her why she put up with them- still to young to know that my mother was the village whore. She just rubbed my ears and told me to finish my supper.

It was only a couple of winters like that until my mother got sick. No men came then. For the first time, I didn't hate my demon blood- it let me stay with her and not catch this foul-smelling disease. But without the men there were no more coins, and without the coins there was no more food.

Even as a pup that young, I knew she needed to be fed well so she could keep up her strength and get better. Now _I_ had to be the one feeding _her_.

So, I did the only thing that I knew to do. I tried to beg.

It didn't work.

Her body hadn't even cooled when they came for me. Bastards. They knew what was happening. It was their fault she got sick. They didn't want us there anymore, so they hatched a plan to get rid of us- kill the mother, then finish off the whelp. 'Doing a service to the world'. 'Cleansing it of evil'. Bullshit. I barley got outta there, but you can bet I never forgot the smell of poison.

I nearly starved after that. I was moving again, never going near any real villages- bigger chance of being seen. I had learned my lesson about being seen, so I scavenged. Didn't need that aggravation, especially as weak as I was from not eating. But do you know how much food a poor farming family throws away? None. They need it all. Except the rotten stuff- that they gave that to the animals. Sometimes I could get it first. If I was lucky. Still all tasted like shit, though. Good thing I couldn't get sick. Thank you demon blood.

Still, it was never enough. Not nearly enough. But the one thing my mother _would not allow_- no matter how bad things got- was stealing. When I was real little, she made me promise- even using the words 'no matter how hungry you are'. Stupid conscience. So I started looking for other ways to fill my stomach.

At first, I was too clumsy to catch any prey worthy of eating- but since I hated the taste of bugs, I learned real quick.

My kills were always a bloody mess, but I wasn't too picky about my food, as long as I _had_ food. Rats, mostly. Squirrels, if I could catch them. Branches are tough hunting grounds. Rabbits, once in awhile, if I was really lucky.

I sometimes missed the taste of cooked meat, but you can't complain. If you're a pup living out alone in the woods, you make due.

I had heard many times that some youkais' favorite food was human flesh or blood, but humans smell pretty bad... and from my experience, if it smells bad, it tastes even worse. I never got quite _that_ desperate. I'd break a promise to my mother before I devoured one of hervery_ species_. That thought did disturb me a lot.

Eventually I got older, got bigger, and better at hunting, but I needed even more food. So started going after bigger, more filling things- like cattle. But that usually pissed people off. And tipped them off that I was there.

And once pissed-off people found out there was a half-breed close by, it was a clear sign to leave. And _fast_. People aren't exactly hospitable to dirt-bloods like me. Leave their village, or risk leaving the world of the living. Don't let the arrow hit you in the ass on the way out.

Anyway, it had been nagging at me for a while that it would be easier if I wasn't so damn _weak_. I could only go six days without my stomach growling. Six _days_. Some full youkai can live _indefinitely_ without food. Six _days_? That's _pathetic_. Stupid human blood.

So, naturally, I jumped at the chance of becoming a full youkai.

And I met this girl.

She didn't try to kill me. Pointed an arrow at me, sure, but I _was_ trying to steal from her...

Damn. Stupid conscience. That promise only applies to food, damnit! Yeah, maybe I'll believe that eventually.

But this girl, this _priestess_, didn't even actually try to kill me on sight.

I had to see her again; if just for the experience of interacting with someone who _wasn't trying to kill me_.

She actually let me. She let me be near her, taint her presence almost daily when she gathered weeds away from the village. She didn't speak to me- usually didn't even really look at me- just nodded a greeting and went about her task.

For the first time in my life, I had a companion. _Me_. I had someone who didn't try to kill me, didn't hate me, didn't fear me, and let me actually spend time with them. Willingly.

I reveled in it.

I even... sort of... started making myself more presentable... y'know... for her. I mean, I always washed off all the caked on blood from my meals- can't have too obvious a scent- but my claws were practically _stained_ with it. That couldn't have been pleasant for her. Seeing the violent half-breed with bloodstains on his claws every day. I was already on thin ice- didn't need to be reminding her that I was one of those dangerous monsters that she was supposed to be protecting the village from.

I noticed that she started spending more and more time out in the forest. Spending more time with me. Was she as happy about this as I was?

Sometimes she'd bring some food with her. We'd sit together (less than twenty steps apart!) on the hillside overlooking the village while she ate her meal. We still didn't talk, but it was peaceful.

Eventually, she offered to share with me. Just a small questioning look between me and the bundle of whatever she had brought with her that day. But she was offering to share her food. With _me_. I was still so shocked that she was willing to be near me that I didn't feel the right- didn't want to scare her off by being too bold. But she always offered. Every day.

After about a season I finally worked up the courage to accept. It took me a while before I would eat it- trying to hide the sniffing. Didn't want to offend her, but just because I liked her didn't turn me into an idiot. I still remember what those bastards did to my mother.

Yeah, I know, I can't get sick... but still, I wasn't about to take any chances- _especially_ after... what happened to my mother.

Anyway, when I thanked her was the first time we had ever really talked. It happened a lot more after that.

It became a ritual- wake up, try to make a kill, eat if I was lucky, wash off if I ate, follow Kikyou in the forest, sit together on the hill, accept some food from her, check for poison, eat, talk awhile, leave, watch her work in the village for the rest of the day, try to make another kill, eat again if I was really lucky, wash off again if I ate, go to sleep thinking about her, and repeat.

Finally, I knew, really _knew_, where my next meal was coming from- and I loved it. Was I in love with Kikyou? Must've been. After all, we don't hate each other. We liked spending time together. That's gotta be love. How much closer to someone can you get?

Then, the betrayal.

Stupid fucking bitch of a priestess. Getting my hopes up- about to turn full human, just for her, just to be with her, just to make her _happy_- and then turning around to find an arrow pointed at my back.

Might as well have tried to poison me.

Seems kind of- what's the word...? Oh, yeah- _ironic_ that the only reason I could go for more than six days without being hungry was because I was dead. Well, maybe not technically. What do you call it when your heart beats for fifty years but you don't need to eat or breathe?

Kaede- the little brat turned old hag- was nice enough at first. She offered me whatever she was cooking, but I'm pretty sure it was mostly for Kagome's benefit. Didn't want to have to explain to the innocent little girl why _she_ was getting food but the half-breed didn't deserve it. Anyway, it didn't matter because I never ate it- I wouldn't've put it past her to poison me that first season before we learned the truth.

I know, I know, it's _Kaede_. But think about it. She's been programmed all her life to think I'm evil. Not to mention- she's a _priestess_. It's her _job_ to try and kill me. And she thought I'd killed her sister. Wouldn't all those things make _you_ want to poison someone?

Well, I guess Kaede's okay... she hasn't tried anything yet, and she always serves me from the same pot as herself. I always make sure of that. But I still check for poison. I'm not an idiot. I won't let my guard down again.

Then there's Kagome. Once I got the whole 'not Kikyou' thing down, I didn't know what to make of her. She changed so many of my habits... it's all very confusing.

First of all, my kills. She wanted cooked meat, _fine_. She could cook it herself. I was even willing to start the damn fire, since she seemed so clumsy with those 'machis' of hers.

But... she seemed really, really upset when I brought one of my kills back to camp to eat. Tearfully demanding to know what I did to the poor, innocent, 'bunny'. I didn't even know what the hell a 'bunny' was, but from what I could understand, I was pretty sure she was talking about the mangled mess of what used to be a rabbit.

So, I started eating alone- away from camp. My kills upset her, so she wouldn't see my kills. Just like that. Don't ask me why I went out of my way for her- I seriously don't know.

I left her alone long enough to have one meal- which isn't really that long- and what did she do? She almost managed to burn down the entire damn forest with those stupid 'machis' of hers!

I obviously couldn't leave this klutz alone for more than a moment. But I couldn't bring my kills there...

Then, I decided to wait until she was asleep to eat... I was seriously changing things- just for her- and I couldn't figure out why. It was driving me insane!

Anyway, I guess I was eyeing her food or something, 'cause she just offered some of it to me. _Out of the same bowl_. _Her_ bowl. What the hell? Didn't her mother ever teach her not to share with half-breeds?

Of course I said no, but she just wouldn't stop _bugging_ me about it. So I took a bite of that stupid 'ramen' stuff, just to shut her up.

I immediately realized two things. Two very, very important, possibly _life changing_ things.

I forgot to smell it. Just my luck. And there she was, looking all smug. That's probably why she was so insistent that I eat the damn stuff, so she could finally get her chance to kill me, not that she'd need it with these damned beads around my neck-

Then the second thing hit me.

'Ramen' was the best thing I'd ever tasted!

And I guess it was okay, about the forgetting thing, 'cause she was eating outta this bowl a moment ago.

She offered me more, smug 'I-told-you-you'd-like-it' attitude still there, and of course, I took it. I still sniffed it, though.

Funny thing is... that's the last time I actually remember checking for poison in anything Kagome gave me to eat.

Why? Why don't I think she'll kill me as soon as she gets the chance? Why don't I care that I don't think that way about her?

Oh, well... If I haven't figured it out yet, I probably never will.

Now, she stuffs me with all the 'ramen' and 'chips potato' she has. She's says I'm too skinny. I thought being able to count your ribs was normal...? Oh, and I actually have a choice of flavor! And that's _nothing_ compared to how much her mother tries to give me in her world...

Maybe I should let her go to her world more often...?

Nah. I'd miss her too much...

What. The. Hell. Was. That?

Shit.

There's that love thing again. But... different. Stronger.

Double shit.

Whenever I start to have this feeling... this nice, warm feeling...

I get stabbed in the back.

But... If I really believe that... why haven't I started checking my food again?

Maybe because... no matter how much we fight, how much I may hurt her, Kagome always does her best to keep me well fed. I'm not as empty as I was.

And with her around, I'm not so hungry anymore.

For anything.

**Owari**

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A.N.: _Wow_... that turned into a lot more than I had planned. Don't'cha just love when that happens? This is mostly a writing exercise for me, so their may or may not be more depending on whether or not you want it, and provided my muse can actually get the job done in a timely manner... for once... They'll probably be from a different P.O.V. and shorter, though.

You know the drill: click the button, leave a message. You know you want to... No flames, please.

Was Inuyasha OOC? He's kinda hard to do... Was there too much swearing? I'm so sorry if I offended anyone! Those are both big issues for me...

Thanks for reading!

Peace and love,

**Move-CaffineAddict**


	2. Satisfaction

Disclaimer: In my bio...

A.N.: Yes, I know, I know, I'm a horrible, horrible person... School sent my muse into a coma, and it has just made a recovery because finals are finally over! Yay!

Alrighty, this is the long, long, loooong awaited continuation of 'Comfort Food' that my lazy/brain dead muse finally inspired, but as I said, it's a different P.O.V.; slightly angsty (which seems to be an unconscious requirement for anything I write), but comes off mostly positive... I think... so, yeah...

I now present Kagome's thoughts concerning food.

Bon appetite! (Enjoy!)

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**Comfort Food:**

**Satisfaction**

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Ever since I was really little, my favorite room in the house has always been the kitchen. Wonderful smells of simmering main courses or baking deserts. Sneaking bites of yummy things when no one's looking- all in the name of 'tasting', of course. And the wonderful, laughing, crowded but somehow still calm atmosphere. People are always so happy there. Stuffed full and so contented. It's just a great place to be.

And do you know how much you can learn about people, just by paying attention to the food they eat? Like my little brother Souta- he thinks that most 'delicacies' are disgustingly gross, but he'll chow down on most any greasy packaged or bagged food you can find. Most kids are like that, I guess- they don't care about how expensive something is or how important it makes you seem; all that matters is the taste.

And my grandpa, always telling my mother to stick to traditional recipes (and telling extensive stories about their history) - but I see him sneaking potato chips every once in awhile. Lovable old hypocrite. Though he did try to exorcise the microwave once...

And my friends back in the Feudal Era- who don't even know about microwaves- can be pretty interesting too. Take Miroku, for instance. He's lactose intolerant, but it took me forever to find out because he's just so polite- he's always appreciative of everything you give him, even if he can't eat it. And he never even asks for something different, just so he won't inconvenience you.

And Sango- she really took to anything spicy that I brought through the well. In fact, we always laugh because she'll see how long she can go without taking a drink after eating that stuff, only to end up gulping down gallons of water or tons of starches afterwards.

She likes to test herself, I guess. Not to mention that she can cook with the best of them- but then again, all girl in this era (demon slayers or not) are taught how to cook by their mothers at a very early age.

Oh, then there's _my_ mom. She just eats whatever she makes, and she makes whatever we like, whether she wants it or not. That's what makes her a great mom. Not to mention she's a great cook, too.

I've never really liked cooking much. Why spend all that time and energy preparing food while having to restrain yourself from eating it all? Seriously, chefs must have the patience of gods. Not that cooking isn't nice sometimes.

I remember, when I was maybe three or four, Mama and I used to make cookies for my dad. We'd spend all day in a kitchen, just making a bigger and bigger mess, laughing and eating most of whatever didn't end up on the outside of the bowls.

By dinner time, only about half the ingredients would have made it into the actual cookies, and everyone would smell them and I'd be trying to choke down just enough of my vegetables to be allowed to have some for dessert.

And no matter how bad they were, everyone would smile and 'yum' and ask for another when I passed them out.

That tradition kind of died with my dad.

Well, nobody ever 'yum's when I cook for them anymore- it's mostly just good-natured teasing. Without proper supervision and good instructions, I can burn water.

Not to say I can't provide food for my friends, I just can's have any part in cooking it other than to pour hot water into the ramen cups.

Still, Shippou loves the sweets I bring him, even if I can't give him too many. Shippou mixed with any large amount of caffeine or sugar is never a good thing. But then he just uses that cute little pouting/pleading look that I can never resist and I end up having a sugar-rushed caffeinated kitsune to chase after all day anyway.

But it makes me feel good, to know that I'm the one to give him something he loves so much. Not that I'm on a power-trip or anything, but I just love watching the way his eyes light up when he's unwrapping some new or favorite kind of candy that I've brought just for him.

I wish _some_ people could at least _pretend _to be as grateful. I mean, really, one of the few times that I actually get a chance to cook for them and I didn't screw it up (thanks to Mama hovering over my shoulder the whole time, of course), Inuyasha has the nerve to- to- just- ugh! I spent all that time and effort to do something nice for them- for _him_- and he just goes and criticizes! And even when he's trying to apologize (well, as close as Inuyasha ever gets to apologizing), he just ends up insulting me more!

Well, I guess it's not really his fault that his favorite part of the meal was something I only bought and didn't make... but still!

Of course, you have to be careful what you give Inuyasha to eat. He tends to gobble up whatever I give him, regardless of temperature or taste (at first, anyway). That's not very surprising, though, considering that his body is about the equivalent of a teenage boy's (okay, a super powered teenage boy's) and how skinny I've noticed he is when I'm bandaging him up. He doesn't take very good care of himself.

I've noticed something else too. Ever since the whole 'Curry Incident' back in my time- where Inuyasha ate a little of my mom's curry (which is hot, but not _that_ hot) and screamed like she had tried to shove hot coals down his throat- I've been thinking: Inuyasha has this great sense of smell, right? And they say that smell and taste are linked, right? So, if he smells things better, wouldn't he taste them stronger as well?

The answer: yes. Oops. Note to self: better stick to the mild stuff from now on... and resist the temptation for practical jokes...

Anyway, besides that one time, he's never complained about my mom's cooking. He sure likes it better than mine. She's tried to teach me more, but... let's just say, that some people are born to do things, and some people are born _not_ to do things. Cooking is _not _one of my things. And on top of that, I would never have time to actually learn anything. Between school and the Feudal Era, I barely have enough time to _bathe_ in my own home before I'm late for something and being carted off to go do something else.

It took me awhile, but now I realize: I _want_ to learn how to cook. I like to see the looks on everyone's faces when I bring new 'futuristic' food through the well; Shippou's excitement, Miroku's appreciation, Sango's interest, and especially the way Inuyasha pretends not to care, but 'inconspicuously' sniffs to see what kind of ramen or potato chips I brought.

My favorite part, though, is right as I'm giving Inuyasha his food. Even though he's probably spent the last few minutes whining about how slow I'm being or asking 'Is it ready yet?' over and over, when I hand him that bowl, he doesn't say 'thank you', but... there's a second where he just gets quiet... and there's this look in his eyes... It's like this cheap store-bought stuff is the greatest thing in the world, and he can't believe that I'm actually giving it to him.

In these moments, I like to let myself pretend- just for half a second- that that look in his eyes means that Inuyasha loves me.

And then he starts stuffing his face- sometimes not even bothering to chew- and the moment is gone, and I feel like a stupid, lovesick, naive little teenage girl again.

But that doesn't mean that look wasn't there. It doesn't erase the emotions in his eyes. Maybe not quite love, but... thankfulness.

The kitchen has always been a place of love and contentment in my house, but now I realize- the place doesn't matter. What matters is that everyone is together, around the stove or the campfire, and that they're happy.

Now I understand why everyone loves cooking so much. It feels good to see everyone so satisfied.

**Owari**

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A.N.: _Aww_... Now I feel all warm and fuzzy inside... Must be the Christmas season... Oh, yeah...

Have a happy holiday of your choosing, if indeed you choose to celebrate a holiday at all!

Wow- overly politically correct, I know. It's kind of a running inside joke.

So, anyway, shorter than the last one, but I'm a one-shot kinda girl and anything more usually feels forced, but I felt like ya'll deserved some more, so be grateful I could even get this much out...

Leave a review- it can be your Christmas gift to me! Or you could just get me a pony instead...

Again, I ask for any OOC alerts...

Thanks for reading!

Peace and love,

**Movie-CaffineAddict**


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